What I learned this week.

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  1. Sometimes good people do bad things. People are not perfect. We’ve all done something that we are not proud of having done.
  2. It’s okay to try something new. I’m in the process of stepping out on faith at work. I’ve decided to pursue a different career path. In years, past I would have talked myself out of applying for a different type of position for fear of failure. But I’ve come to learn that it’s okay to try something new, if it does not work out I can always go back.
  3. Forgiving is easy, forgetting is a more difficult. It seems to me that deciding to forgive a person is pretty easy. In my experience, you know right away if whatever has been done is something that you can forgive. So that part is easy. The part that is a bit more challenging is forgetting what has been done. There will be moments when the memories of the incident will strike you, but you have to look past those thought. That is if you’ve truly chosen to forgive.

What are your intentions?

  • Creating a clear intention is part of developing a picture of success that represents your destination and changes your focus from victimization to accountability.
  • Being accountable has nothing to do with perfection.
  • In order to become indispensable you must change your mind-set. Changing your mind-set is a three step process:
  1. State your intentions and set your ultimate goals –Declaring your intention clearly is the foundation for maintaining a positive focus and not acting like a victim.
  2. Picture what success looks like to you  – Your picture of success should describe the attitudes, behaviors, and actions you will be displaying once you are working towards your intention.
  3. Test your picture of success – If your picture of success is not a stretch goal you will not make much improvement.

My Picture of Success for Health

My intention is to live a healthy life at a healthy weight. I eat foods that are both tasty and good for me. I do not shame myself for indulging occasionally. I exercise consistently. I am able to run three miles without stopping and engage in strength training.

My Picture of Success for Marriage

My intention is to be a supportive, non-judgmental, physically desirable wife. I do not berate or belittle my husband. I discuss matters in a calm voice and I am respectful in my delivery. I accept my husband for who he is and I do not try to control him or force him into taking on my opinions. I follow my intention of living a healthy life and my body displays the results of my choices.

I’m still working on my professional intentions.

What are your intentions?

Playing the victim

You are playing the victim when you take the stance that stuff is happening to you and you have no choice in the matter. When you play the victim when faced with difficult, you ignore, deny, blame, rationalize, resist, and hide from your issue. Victims complain about problems and use excuses to explain failure.

More on becoming indispensable

Chapter 2: The Road Map

  • Accountability is taking action that is consistent with your desired outcomes
  • Three fears that keep people from being accountable
  1. Fear of Blame  – When you avoid being accountable, you might not get blamed for making mistakes, but you will be blamed for not accomplishing anything.
  2. Fear of Failure – Fear of failure guarantees falling short of success.
  3. Fear of Success – Deep down some people don’t want the extra pressure to perform so they sabotage their success. For some it’s much easier to dream of success than to actually achieve it.

Three fears but very powerful.  I recognize that I have a fear of failure. This fear has caused me to not go out for opportunities that I’m more than capable of getting. I convince myself that I’m good at what I’m doing and that I should not rock the boat.

Do you know anyone that fits into these categories?