Category Archives: Married Life

Awesome!

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Today was one of the most awesome days that I’ve had in a long time. Don’t get me wrong, most of my days are pretty good, some are even great, but very few are awesome.  What was so awesome about today you ask…

Besides the obvious…the Lord allowing me to have air in my lungs…today was awesome because I basically just did me all day. I know that sounds selfish but it’s not.

Like most days I was up pretty early. I started my day with some awesome tea and recorded tv. Awesome! I was able to catch up on a few of my favorite tv shows. I watched an episode of Iylana Fix My Life and I felt totally inspired to become a different person. This particular episode was about a couple five years into their marriage who were on the brink of calling it quits. Besides sharing the same name as the wife, the thing that resonated most with me was her mistreatment of her husband.  She was not a cheater or anything like that…she was just condescending and emasculating to her husband. I totally saw myself in her.

I can’t speak for the wife on the show, but what I know about myself is that I was single for so long before getting married that I’ve found it near impossible to relinquish control to Mylover. Because of this I’ve taken on an “I know it all kind of attitude.” Who likes a know it all? Nobody!

I can only imagine how Mylover must feel when I’m always nagging him and telling him what to do…that’s not cool and I learned today that I must stop this behavior immediately. Awesome!

Today was also awesome because I had a realization about why I’ve had a hard time losing this post-wedding weight. I know that I can lose weight because I’ve done it before. I have all of the tools that I need at my finger tips, but I’ve not lost a single pound. Why you ask? Self-sabotage! I believe that I’m carrying a lot of weight in the marriage and rather than deal with that I eat. As I stated before, I’m condescending and emasculating to Mylover (but no more after today). So rather than accepting that I might just push him away one day with my less than stellar attitude (this really is my greatest fear) I eat things that I know that I should not…because at least then I’d be able to say he left because I’m fat. Silly I know, but Awesome that I have clarity about my behavior.

My new found clarity propelled me out the door this morning for a 4 mile walk / run. Awesome!

Today was also awesome because I discovered my front porch. Don’t ask me why, but for the 10 years that I’ve lived in this house, I’ve never sat on the front porch. I’ve always sat on the deck out back and today was no different. I was out there enjoying Ma.d Men on Net.flix just sweating away…then it dawned on me…it’s much cooler at the front on the house. So I moved my Ma.d Men marathon to the porch.  The breeze was Awesome!

The day ended with Mylover and I taking a stroll around the neighborhood. Awesome!

How was your day today?

What I learned this week.

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  1. Sometimes good people do bad things. People are not perfect. We’ve all done something that we are not proud of having done.
  2. It’s okay to try something new. I’m in the process of stepping out on faith at work. I’ve decided to pursue a different career path. In years, past I would have talked myself out of applying for a different type of position for fear of failure. But I’ve come to learn that it’s okay to try something new, if it does not work out I can always go back.
  3. Forgiving is easy, forgetting is a more difficult. It seems to me that deciding to forgive a person is pretty easy. In my experience, you know right away if whatever has been done is something that you can forgive. So that part is easy. The part that is a bit more challenging is forgetting what has been done. There will be moments when the memories of the incident will strike you, but you have to look past those thought. That is if you’ve truly chosen to forgive.

Anticipation

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As I sit here in the Charlotte airport, I am overcome with a feeling of anticipation. I have not seen mylover since Tuesday morning and I miss him terribly. One would think that perhaps I would not feel this way since we hardly see each other anymore. Since mylovers’ hours have changed at work we see each only on the weekends. However, there is something comforting about knowing he’ll be climbing into the bed by 3am or so…even if I am sound asleep.