Mylover and I live in northeast Ohio but we’re both “Imported from Detroit.” Since getting married our trips home to Detroit have become somewhat stressful for me. Mylover does not share in this stress and he does not seem to understand what my problem is with going home and why it stresses me out. For him it’s just a trip home to the city, for me it’s an unspoken popularity contest where somebody loses. Every time we go home we have to make a decision as to where we’re going to stay. Our choices are generally his mother’s, my parent’s, or my sister’s house. And since Mylover is really a momma’s boy at heart, we usually end up staying with his mother. Mylover’s mother is getting up in age and is legally blind so I know that she appreciates our company. She’s cool as hell, which by the way is not the impression I had as a teenager…as a teenage girl I thought she was the mean lady that always hung up on me when I called her house. She has a great sense of humor and she always has a funny story from years past. She’s not your typical mother-in-law…she’s content on minding her own business and not ours. In short, I enjoy the time that we spend together.

However, since during our visits we most often stay with Mylover’s mother, I feel like my family is losing the popularity contest. While I want to continue to build my relationship with my mother-in-law I don’t want the relationship with my parent s to suffer in the process.

How have you and your spouse decided to share your time?